As a homeless and unemployed college grad, you have to be shrewd. Conserve. Ration. Plan. Your days of copious amounts of wonderful food have been put into an immediate halt! You look in the cabinets, you scavenge around in the fridge, but there isn't much except a baking soda box. And you aren't in the mood for baking soda. So, what do you do?
Free samples, my friend.
You would be surprised how many places give out free samples. First of all, grocery stores are a haven for free samples. Mornings to early afternoons are the best times. One of the best places to find a ton of free samples are Costco, Schnucks, and Dierbergs. Trader Joe's always has free samples as well. Also, most deli departments will allow you to try what they have. Feel bad about trying something but not purchasing anything? DON'T! You literally can't afford to feel guilty. And plus, a lot of that stuff will probably be thrown away at the end of the day anyway. Sample away!
Speaking of grocery stores, a lot of times you can score a free cookie from the bakery department. They usually just do that for kids, but hey, put on some of those puppy dog eyes and be pathetic as possible. If they don't give you a cookie, well, they are probably horrible people that hate puppies and kittens.
Food courts in malls also always have people giving out free samples. Just do a couple laps. Procure some fake mustaches/wigs if you think they may have caught on to your scheme.
Another great opportunity are free events and parties. Go to fiction and poetry readings. Don't like to read, you say? First of all, that's ridiculous. Second of all, DEAL WITH IT. You can get over your boredom by consuming as much free cheese and crustinis as humanly possible. Bring a purse. You're a dude, you say? DEAL WITH IT. Bring a man purse. Then, when everyone's distracted by talking to the author, slip as many free food morsels into your man purse as you can. Layer the bottom of your man purse with napkins if you are worried about ruining your $3 thrift store prized possession.
Then, there's always free sample websites. If you are too poor to afford the Internet, you can try to make your way to a library and hit up those 'sites. You'd be surprised what free food samples you can find.
The good news here is that you won't starve if you are resourceful. I might even call it plucky.
Thx for writing this blog.
ReplyDeleteA lot of Americans still believe in that American Dream nonsense and think that we college grads who are struggling just made poor decisions. (It's ridiculous, really. We're not crack heads who've been dealing drugs for the past 4+ years but people who wanted a better life, thought we could work hard to earn it and proved our ability to work hard, to learn, to study, etc., by accomplishing our college degrees. It's not easy to graduate from college. Many people drop out. Many people never even attend. Yet those of us who work hard and accomplish our goal are often penalized with debt and a job market that no longer appreciates intelligent employees.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, it's too bad you hadn't kept up this blog. It's an interesting read. Reminds me of AllEducationMatters, a blog I hadn't read in a long time.
The hard part of being a college grad living in poverty is that no one cares because you're "supposed to be" doing well. There's more sympathy for the crack head 'cause he/she has a drug problem or mental illness.
Hope things get better for you (and for all of us.)